Comedy / Humour

Annie and Annie

by Joh – 7,000 words. Submission date: 13/08/2020.

Annie is kidnapped and turned into a housewife by a father and his son. While Annie accepts her new duties, her captors are annoyed when they find out that she's not very good at them.

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Joh Posted by Joh (30 Aug 20):

Thanks for reading and commenting all!

Brisingr Posted by Brisingr (29 Aug 20):

This was a bit of a strange one to say the least. I was definitely intrigued as to how the story would progress. The multiple endings was a nice touch that actually worked pretty well for this kind of entry. The use of dark humour worked well in its favour. Well done to you!

Aaron Posted by Aaron (18 Aug 20):

An enjoyable and intriguing read. It’s definitely one of the more surreal entries the site has seen, but I became engrossed in it as it progressed. The multiple endings, a feature I wouldn’t normally welcome, worked well – I got the ‘tails’ ending, and enjoyed it a lot – and suited the story. The story utilised dark humour well, which it needed to, because the characters were too absurd to hold the story and keep it interesting on their own. Another good entry.

Falcon Posted by Falcon (16 Aug 20):

A very strange and enjoyable entry with some dark humour that really added to the story. The characters of Annie, Father and Roger were interesting to read even if the latter two were unlikable by design. It was easy to empathise with Annie regardless of the outlandish situation she found herself in and just accepted without resistance like a simpleton. Her sweet nature and wish to act like a mother was endearing if a little disturbing for the reader who could obviously grasp the ethical wrongness of the situation while none of the characters seemed to have any understanding of the seriousness behind it.

I also enjoyed the 'video' or old television show being introduced as it framed out the relationships between Annie and her two kidnappers nicely. I really like the idea of having multiple endings for the entry which I understand to be the first time it has been done in Write Wise. I very much preferred the second conclusion which was very fitting for such a dark and gloomy premise. What I especially found intriguing about that ending was how you were able to call back to the 'Every Man is a King' children's book and work it into a fairly creepy finale. I look forward to what you plan to write next.